Oly Oly Oxen Free...

So thanks to T3 I’m going to give you 5 things that you don’t know about me. I have to keep them pretty clean because I know my mom reads this site. I’ll try to make them interesting rather than blowing this little game off.

Be the best you can be, whatever the cost-
So those of you that know me I am a super competitive person. Well in grade school, maybe like the 4th grade, I signed up to be an altar boy in our church. I’m from a really small German-Catholic town in the middle of nowhere Ohio. Every male in town at one point or another was an altar boy. Anyway, you spend a few days learning about church (like all of the Sunday school classes weren’t enough) and your responsibilities. At the end of the training you had to pass a test. The tests were handed out and we took them in church in the pews. We were all spread out so there was no way that the teachers could keep and eye on us. We’ll I didn’t know the answer to one of the questions and I wanted a perfect score, so I looked it up in my book. When they announced the results of the test I was the only one that scored 100%. They called me up to the front of church, and in front of everyone, to give me an award for the highest grade. I knew right then and there I was gonna go to Hell!


School Awards/Superlatives-
Just to show all of you that I can in fact be a really good boy, that same year I won an award from my 4th grade teacher. At the end of the year she handed out awards and I won the friendliest kid on the playground. I distinctly remember that she said “Even if people cut in front of you in line to play 4 Square, you never got mad at them.” I still like to think of myself as a really nice guy. I often get myself into trouble because I am more worried about other people’s feelings before my own well being. Also, I was deemed the biggest flirt in our senior class. Maybe the award in 4th grade was a precursor for things to come. It was usually girls playing 4 square so maybe I was just practicing picking up chicks back then.

Detroit Tigers-
In my Junior year of high school I was very anti school function. I avoided all dances, pep rallies, etc. So when prom rolled around my and one of my best friends decided that instead of going to prom we had to come up with something really great as an alternative. My buddy was a huge autograph collector, and still is to this day. Anyway he looked at nearby sports schedules and saw that the Tigers were playing the Orioles in Detroit. We decided to head to Detroit and try to get Cal Ripken Jr. to sign some stuff. So we told our parents that we were going to a local amusement park for the day and I asked if I could borrow our brand new car. They reluctantly agreed and the two of us went to Detroit. Man what a stupid idea. My parents would have shit if they knew we were in Detroit by ourselves (this was at the old stadium in not that great of an area). We also went to Canada just so we could say that we were so against going to prom that we left the country. I've since told my parent so this should come as no suprise to you mom.

Precision Strip-
No it’s not what you think. I used to work at this place when I was in HS and my first year of college. I had really crazy hours, 5pm to 5am. It’s a place that deals with aluminum and steel, preparing them manufacturing. The night shift was all young guys and there weren’t as many people around. Anyway, they would have those super high power air nailers for the truck drivers to secure their freight. Being a stupid HS male I found that if you held back the safety guard on the nailer you could send the nails across this huge warehouse. I mean these nails really flew. It was effing hilarious to us. We never really stopped to think about the consequences one of those nails hitting someone or if they caught our fingers as we held back the shield. We would also huff paint thinner sometimes. Nothing like killing some brain cells at 3 in the morning before you jump on the fork lift. Just another memory that makes me wonder how I’ve made it this far in life without any legal troubles.

No Ozzy Osborne-
After my stint as a factory worker I got a job as a wildlife technician. I was getting my BS in Env. Science, so this was the start of my professional life. I worked at night in the woods catching bats. If they were the ones we were looking for, a certain endangered species, we would put radio transmitters on them and track them. The job was great. I traveled all across the Midwest and Southeast. I met a lot of great people and couldn’t believe I was getting paid for that work. One of the fun things we did after work, like 6 in the morning, was to grab some beers and go birding. Birds are the most active in the morning, so we got to see species that were present in whatever region of the county we were in. All the while catching a good buzz. It awesome to roll into Perkins, dressed in camo and smelling of booze while the old men were in for their morning coffee.

So there you go, some things you never knew about me. I would tag someone else but I have no blogging friends outside of the MN cycling/blogging world.